Wednesday, October 5, 2011

When 'Skinniness' and Mumbai locals meet...

Mumbai locals. Love 'em? Hate 'em? Cannot ignore 'em! And since I have to commute the length and breadth of the city, my 'skinniness' doesn't go ignored either!!

Random Day One:
Peak hour rush. It's the first thing in the morning but the sweat and grime of the humid city already makes the day unbearable. Add to that, the burgeoning crowded train.
So there I am standing, no wait, struggling to fit my tiny itsy-bitsy frame on one centimetre of floor space but it seems largely unaffordable. Irony.
What I have next to me is a rather large, healthy woman decked up in all her finery with her rounded elbows in my sides. I'm ignoring it. But just as I am soothing my nerves allowing the music to take over me, I 'think' I hear muffled voices.
My very 'ample' co-commuter seems to be speaking to me. I unplug and here's what ensued:
Ample Lady: "You are pushing me. Your entire 'weight' is on me. Why can't you stand properly? BLAH BLAH BLAH..."
A-very-Zen-Not-so-ample me: "Thank you"
Ample Lady: *Aghast* What do you mean 'Thank you'?
A-very-Zen-Not-so-ample me: Well, simply thank you. *Smiles*
Ample Lady: "Huh?"
A-very-Zen-Not-so-ample me: "How else do you expect me to react to you yelling at me the first thing in the morning. So all I have to say to you is 'Thank you'.
Ample Lady: *Stares ferociously*
A-very-Zen-Not-so-ample me: "Quit staring. Your station's here. Alight and get off" *Smiles*

Random Day Two:
Same old Mumbai Local. Same old crowd. Same sweat and grime. Same old Not-so-ample me. Same old quarrel for one centimetre foot space. SIGH. But this time it's another co-commuter!
Co-commuter: "Don't push."
A-very-zapped-Not-so-ample me: "Just look at my size. You really think that even if I tried to push you I'd succeed?"

Random Day Three:
Same old...
Co-commuter picks on me because of my bag. It's a backpack. And I can be a snail with my house on my back on some days.
Irked co-commuter: "Look at the rush and look at this one (hinting at me) pushing around with her big bag. There's no space for the rest of us and here she comes in with her big bag!"
A-very-entertained-Not-so-ample me: "The size of the bag is to compensate for the areas that I lack when it comes to size."


  1. Hahaha...I am SO glad you are back to writing again!! Mwaah! i think i wil take u along on some handsfree device the next morning that i have to deal with those horrid women in the train!! I am sure they wont get the sarcasm smacking them in their collective butts! *glee*