Identity crisis

Nicknaming people is a real good fun activity. What makes it so is that it's something so much more personalized than one's own name. It's something that comes from people knowing each other at a much more open and intimate level.. and that all of it is meant to be in good jest makes it all the more special...

Nicknames are easiest when it's the shortened version of the persons real name...
But quite often nicknames come about from people's physicality...
So if someone is short, they are conveniently called chottu...but more often dhed phoot, dhaii phoot, tingu
And if you are tall, then lambu, khamba...
One isn't spared for having to wear spectacles. The words battery, dapphnya follow you wherever you go. I still remember the chant of "double battery single power, haath mein roti muh mein chawal". *sigh*
If you are a size larger than the rest...the list tends to be endless...
Ditto when you are a size THINNER...
Most of this stuff happened while at school.

However i have had one such in-my-face experience too. Not so long ago i'd been for a college trip to Sikkim and towards the end we'd all exchanged telephone numbers and email ids [This is the pre-Orkut and pre-FB era]. So once we were back to where we belonged -- and given that college was still a long time away from re-opening, we'd gotten into the mode of emailing one another, exchanging photos and the likes.

Likewise, i followed suit.
One fine day i sat down to check my mail and went through some of the replies i'd received. One such mail has left a lasting impression on me... What had happened was that since we'd been a group of 80 odd people from different streams and batches we weren't quite acquainted with one another even after those 10 days. If we'd remembered a face, we'd forgotten the name and vice-versa.
Given this background, i still continue to be amused by what one of them had to say -- or rather, ask by way of replying to my mail...and i quote:
"Are you the fat one or the stick with specs?"

The angst of going shopping

I hate shopping.
I don't understand the term 'retail therapy'. Cuz contrary to popular belief i end up feeling 10 times more harrowed and agitated post shopping...

The problem? Size.

Whether i'm walking down Colaba Causeway or Hill Road and Linking Road at Bandra or swaying in and out of the comforts of the air-conditioned glitzy malls, my plight is still the same.
Stuff is always too big or way too itsy-bitsy! While 'big' makes me feel like i'm walking about in my night wear, the latter makes idea of clothes being comfortable is all too discomforting.

What i take offence most to is SIZE 'XS'! Either it's taken too literally or too figuratively. Literally speaking i end up imagining how a 'woman' is actually going to get into that piece of garment without compromising on her lungs while figuratively XS makes me wonder whether what it does really imply is 'excess'...

 These are the very times when i'm made to realise what an in-between size i really am...quite like the proverbial dhobi ka kutta

Like shopping isn't bad enough, receiving clothes as gifts is worse. It's always that i like what i've got -- it's just that it doesn't fit right!

So i go about wincing to myself every time something that quite catches my eye isn't going to find itself a spot in my wardrobe *sigh*

U ask whether i've heard about tailors and the magic of 'alterations', right? Well, i have. And i have two arguments why i don't favour them...
(i) I'd like to believe that if it fits right it feels right. More like destiny. I like the ring to it :)
(ii) Altering an outfit/piece of clothing sucks. Apart from making U feel like it's being compromised to simply accommodate U...the number of rounds i recently underwent just to get the fitting right had me at my wits end quite literally. Imagine when to my horror the garment was altered such that i had trouble getting into and then out of it!!!

 The only comfort probably lies in the fact that it's not just me. A friend once told me of the time a sales person tried convincing her to wear a skirt and pass it off as a tube top! Sheesh...

Clothes isn't all...
Shopping for foot wear is as much of a crisis situation. The reason is the opposite. Big Feet!

Hmph! What was God thinking of?

Cupboard Cleansing

People have poked jibes. I, in turn, have developed a self deprecatory sense of humour and all seems hunky dory.
Well, guess what? It's not.
And in any case this blog is all about nothing being hunky dory 'cuz being 'skinny' does not permit it. I am yet to fully comprehend the hullabaloo surrounding 'size zero'. I share a meal with people and all i hear of food being unhealthy.  About how it's high time they followed a diet regime or joined the gym or exercised or did yoga or may be even starved!
I don't get it.

People's woes revolve around how they desperately want to fit into their clothes...and not out of them. What they wouldn't do to flaunt their well toned and trimmed assets...
I get this...and i empathize

I empathize only because i exist on the other end of this drama... Yep, drama it is. And i'll tell U why. A couple of days ago i got down to clearing my cupboard up. Now my cupboard isn't the quintessential girl's cupboard bursting at its seams...i believe in living in moderation (more on that -- but another post!). But nevertheless i find myself in possession of clothes i've never worn.
Uh..uh!
Before U watertight compartmentalize me into being the quintessential girl, i'll let U in on a secret.
I am in possession of clothes i secretly hope and pray that i can 'fill' into perfectly and not have belts suspended to hold 'em in place or reduce my shoulders to hangars on a hook or wait to have 'em altered to 'fit' me right so i aint floating.

So while i had to dispose the clothes i couldn't forsee myself 'filling' into i despise my fate 'cuz this means i WILL have to go shopping and find something(s) more suitable for my frame (more on this one too in another post).

Gah!